And a lot changed during that single year.

In 2006, as Dan was bringing home a pie to his family, he ended up saving a drunken blonde girl from a fateful encounter with the hood of a taxi. He lost the pie, of course, but he rescued the beautiful girl. Upon telling the story to his parents as they sat around the table, Dan and Jenny's mom commented about how their dad always had a thing for crazy blondes, too. Sure, she's as blonde as her daughter, but she doesn't consider herself crazy: that's a right reserved for someone else.

By 2007, Dan had finally worked up the courage to talk to that crazy blonde. He and Serena were dating. Also, Dan and Jenny's mom was no longer living with the family. She showed up for Thanksgiving, though... making things awkward when Dan's girlfriend and her family arrived to celebrate the holiday with the Humphreys. That doesn't sound all that awkward, but here's the thing: 2006's "crazy blonde" was Lily, Serena's mom. Rufus and Lily used to be inseparable, much to the chagrin of Dan and Jenny's mom. So, Dan spent Thanksgiving with his family and the van der Woodsens went to a Chinese restaurant.

Thanksgiving was rocky for Blair in 2007. She and her father were Thanksgiving junkies and, for the first time ever, they'd spend the holiday apart. B's mom, Eleanor, told him Blair didn't want him around when the truth was that Eleanor wasn't ready to face him . Blair was a hot mess and soon plunged face-first into her favorite pie, only to upchuck it later. Speaking of Chuck , when B decides to make up with S , Blair lets her in on a very big, very shameful secret: She's slept with Chuck Bass. Twice.

There were other issues: Chuck and his father were at odds and Nate's family was suffering the consequences of his father's illegal business scheming. However, since Nate's more or less become a background character, we'll skip the nitty-gritty. Let's just say things weren't great for either of the Upper East Side boys.

Now that we're up to speed, watch this...

Five years later, things are very different... and yet somehow the same. Rufus and Lily still can't get themselves together, despite their brief marriage and clear love for one another. Dan and Serena are together, just like before. But without all the obstacles, things seem more permanent. Also, they're about fifteen miles and a few socio-economic classes away from the Humphrey flat in Brooklyn. Meanwhile, Blair has slept with Chuck a lot more than just twice and it's no longer a shameful thing. After a whole season of "just say it," Chuck admitted to loving Blair seasons ago and he's beside her at the table. Blair is, once again, at odds with her mother. However, she has a new family to celebrate with that's full of friends and just as much drama.

Dig out the last of the pumpkin pie and spend yet another belated Thanksgiving with Gossip Girl on Monday, December 3, 9/8c.

Images courtesy of The CW

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We’re only two episodes away from the Gossip Girl series finale, and yet the finish line’s never seemed more elusive. Watching this sixth season is like trying to untie one of those impossible shoe knots. The harder you pull, the worse the situation gets.

But let’s try not to worry about how far story lines have strayed off course, and instead hand out some grades for Monday night’s episode .

Dan Humphrey: F minus

Has a Gossip Girl character ever put together such a villainous performance?

Dan and Serena start another episode in bed, and this time they’re planning to host their first Thanksgiving together. It looks like the much-maligned couple could really be back for good.

But Dan owes Georgina and his editors the highly anticipated Serena chapter. We learn there are two versions . Which one Dan publishes is at the heart of the episode’s conflict.

 “Lonely Boy” ultimately publishes the blistering version of Serena’s so-called true story. And in the process he becomes the Upper East Side’s public enemy No. 1.

Not only does this sacrifice any chance at romantic redemption with Serena, Dan also forfeits any hope of breathing through his nose — courtesy of a cold, hard Nate Archibald fist .

But Dan’s the man with the plan. And apparently, he thinks it’s working. Everything so far this season — even the pivotal elevator scene with Serena a few weeks back — has been part of his Machiavellian plot to gain respect by becoming a complete dirtbag.

If you’re like me, you were probably doing everything in your power not to launch the remote control at the screen during Monday’s final scene, where we see Dan smirking as he writes his final chapter. The only thing stopping me was the allure of endlessly replaying Nate’s right fist meeting Dan’s flesh.

Rufus Humphrey: A

Poor Rufus. So far this season he’s been: Dumped by his ex-wife, trashed all over the internet by his backstabbing son, and worst of all, conned by that slimeball Ivy Dickens.

Rufus gets his mojo back in a big way earning this episode’s MVC — Most Valuable Character. His speech to Dan about the Humphrey men and van der Woodsen women serves as the episode’s turning point that leads to Dan getting popped in the face. Rufus’ insight about Dan’s story being a one-sided version of the truth brought back the vintage Rufus we’ve dearly missed.

Bart Bass: D minus

Bart Bass’ worst moment of the episode wasn’t the unveiling that he’s possibly involved in the murder of two former employees.

Bart Bass earns his dubious mark by nearly popping a blood vessel while showing us his best boa constrictor impression on Lily.

Lily van der Woodsen-Bass-Humphrey: B

Lily’s performance this week is typical of her character this entire season. One minute you cringe at every second she shares on screen with Bart. The next you’re rooting for her to help Chuck turn the tables on his father.

Deep down, Lily still maintains some good, and she restores our faith by agreeing to finally team up with Chuck. That’s good news for Bass Jr., but will it spell disaster for Mrs. van der Woodsen-Bass-Humphrey who last appears headed off for a mini-vacation.

It may be a reach, but something tells me Lily’s days on Gossip Girl are numbered.

Nate Archibald: B minus

Nate gave viewers the single best moment of the season so far. Seriously, who wouldn’t want to take a crack at Dan Humphrey?

If our evaluations were based solely on that seminal scene, Nate’s grade would be higher than a Miley Cyrus birthday celebration. But we’re docking him serious points because: 1) Nate’s selling out Chuck, his best friend, to avoid going to prison and 2) Nate’s back to dating Sage — a relationship with a high school girl that should land him in jail!

Chuck Bass: C plus

The wake-up-in-the-morning-and-drink-a-flight-of-18-year-old-scotch Chuck Bass is so much less appealing than the hopelessly-in-love-with-Blair-Waldorf version.

Chuck just can’t stop feeling sorry for himself over his failure to conquer his father. Even when Blair shows up with… how shall we say… a Thanksgiving treat… Chuck still manages to sulk and brood.

Sure, Chuck's had it rough. In the past two weeks, his best friend's sold him out to his evil father. Meanwhile Blair's enjoying nothing but success with her fashion line .

We’ve come a long way from Chuck Bass the odious date rapist. So far that we now consider Chuck one of the Gossip Girl heroes. And we need a hero now more than ever.

Maybe Chuck will get his hero’s reward and end up with Blair. But with only two episodes left, Chuck’s character is wasting away in a chase that looms to finish with fewer fulfillment than a wedding day with Ms. Waldorf.

Blair Waldorf: A plus-plus-plus-plus

This Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for Halloween stores for remaining open in November and selling Pocahontas outfits.

Blair shows off her wardrobe range, going from one extreme to the other .

For the sake of our list, let’s pretend only the first extreme counts.

Serena van der Woodsen: A minus

No one will ever excuse Blake Lively of being a great actress. But we genuinely feel for Serena at the end of the episode after she’s once again publicly humiliated. We’re even willing to forgive her bonehead notion to invite her ex-boyfriend/near fiance to Thanksgiving dinner because Serena’s performance was that deserving of our guilt.

Granted, she dug her own hole with the sex tape fiasco. But no one, especially not Dan Humphrey, can talk smack about Serena van der Woodsen on the internet and get away with it! .

"It's Really Complicated” episode: C minus

Even with Blair’s costume and Nate’s fists of fury, Gossip Girl failed, yet again, to give its viewers a solid episode.

With the end so near, there may be too many knots to untie this mess.

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Photo credits: CW Network

We've all seen the Gossip Girl wedding pictures, right? You know the ones I mean: with Blair in that lacy sea foam green dress and Chuck Bass in his white tux with coordinated bow tie. We were all prepared for a wedding between Upper East Side royalty.

But now, this...

Is it possible Gossip Girl officials and The CW were just tricking us? Were they trying to throw us off our game so they could toss a Lost-sized plot twist our way? This promo is intense! One second Blair is begging Chuck not to get on a plane — the next, you're hearing reports of a plane crash.

Plus, look at this picture! Blair is definitely being consoled over something.

Earlier today, we saw a headline speculating that someone might die on Gossip Girl. With just that headline to go on, a conspiracy was cooked up: Maybe Chuck and Blair were getting married because they love each other, but also so that they can scheme together to murder Chuck's father without having to testify against each other. Maybe it was a little far-fetched. But, it's Gossip Girl, after all.

Now there's that insane sneak peek. Are you kidding, CW? This is not okay.

It would also explain the return of Eric. For a while there, Chuck and Serena's baby brother, Eric, were pretty close. If something were to happen to Chuck, that would certainly bring Eric home for a while, right?

While the promo seems convincing, we're going to hold on to hope for a little bit longer. After all, filming a scene to not even use is a costly production. Gossip Girl may have a decent budget, but we doubt it's that big.

This is still too much to take. Can someone please hit up Gilt to get some to-go martinis and an order of truffle potato fries for us to stress-eat?

Good luck, Chair fans. It looks like you're going to need it.

Images courtesy of The CW

Perfect Comebacks...

:
Chuck: I take it you've decided to have Lola move in for the summer.
Nate: She sleeps here every night, I want to see her every day. I figure why not?
Chuck: This place could use a woman's touch.
Bart: Couldn't we all.

:
Blair: How much more do you need to see?
Dorota: Of duck pond? Not really my thing to begin with.

:
Chuck: You're a good friend.
Nate: One of us has to be.

:
Serena: Did I tell you he texts me every night before he goes to sleep? It's so sweet.
Blair: Sexting is not sweet. It's off-limits until you're in a relationship.

:
Chuck: You're lying.
Blair: I am not!
Chuck: Your eyes are doing that thing where they don't match your mouth.
Blair: I wasn't aware that robots got jealous. Did they update your software while I was away?

:
Chuck: Game's not over until I say it is.
Blair: Then go play with yourself.

Other brilliant one-liners...

Georgina about Nate : Why is the pretty, vacant one calling me?

Blair : Make a donation. Also include the ballet, the opera. Skip MoMa. Tim Burton isn't art. I stand by that statement.

Chuck to Blair : You won't marry anyone else, you're mine.

Chuck : The world you're looking at only exists from the outside. The only reason I survive in it is that I always knew it was empty.

Jack : I never realized how many sex puns you can make out of "Chuck Bass."

Blair : Ladies! You can give your tiny brains a rest. Once again, the world has proven: Anything you can do, I can do better.

Blair to Georgina : Haven't you heard? I'm the crazy b**** around here.

The ultimate line...

Blair: Why? Give me a reason... and "I'm Chuck Bass" doesn't count. The true reason I should stay right here where I am and not get in the car. Three words. Eight letters. Say it... that I'm yours.

Images courtesy of The CW

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Serena is moving to L.A. But Dan still loves her! And he slips the proof in her luggage.

Nate is in jail. But the Captain is back! And Sage is there to help.

Dan buys a new apartment. But Georgina wants to move in! And Ivy returns .

Blair's going to miss Serena. But she has Chuck! And her clothing line’s doing well.

Oh, and we’ll find out who the real “Gossip Girl” is next week on the show's last episode ever.

All this transpires, and still none of it really matters on this week’s episode of Gossip GirlBass Family Feud.

World War Bass has been the chauffeur driving Gossip Girl’s sixth and final season. Chuck versus Bart is the sun to Gossip Girl’s earth. Every misguided story line this season — Chuck and Blair’s abstinence, Nate and the Spectator’s demise, Lily and Rufus’ divorce, Dan’s attempt to win back Serena , and of course, who can forget the randomest of the random: A sweaty dude in a boxing gym, an oil deal gone wrong in Dubai, and a horse named Lady Alexander — somehow revolved around the Bass family feud.

Monday night's “The Revengers” episode is no different. The bulk of Gossip Girl’sBass Family Feud’s penultimate episode … ever! … features Bart Bass, Bart Bass, and more Bart Bass. Hey Gossip Girl fans, we’re only one show away from the last episode ever, so tune in to see all the ways Bart Bass screws over his son and friends!

But, while Bart grabs most of the screen time this week, things don’t end so well for New York City’s Real Estate Man of the Year. Because the only real estate Bart Bass is going to occupy in the future will have a ZIP code six feet under.

Still, even with the heart-stopping denouement to World War Bass, Gossip Girl found a way to once again miss an opportunity.

We’ve now seen the show spend an inordinate amount of time over the past four seasons resurrecting Chuck’s character while morphing him into an Upper East Side hero.

We’ve seen him transform from a villainous date rapist preying on the virgin Jenny Humphrey to the business savvy, dog-loving champion whose actions make him one of the most likable characters on the show.

We laugh at his jokes, envy his tailored suits, pity his lack of a mother, and fawn over every kiss he shares with Blair Waldorf.

And we were supposed to cheer for Chuck when Bart toppled off the roof.

The problem is there was no time to stand up and clap. Because Bart’s death sequence was so quick that by the time he hit the pavement, Taylor Swift dumped Harry Styles for boyfriend No. 14. Before we could even appreciate what was happening, Chuck and Blair were fleeing and a clichéd “To be continued…” flashed upon the screen.

Gossip Girl had a wonderful chance to deliver an all-time great scene. But viewers paid the price for an episode that meandered through the first 45 minutes. Too much time was wasted on trivial scenes — like Dan buying an apartment — when more time could have been spent presenting a more compelling scene on the roof where Chuck finally defeats his father. It’s ironic that the conclusion to a story line that took so painstakingly slow to develop lasted merely minutes.

With Bart grasping for his life and pleading for Chuck’s help, the show could have given us the best father-son moment since Luke Skywalker learned the identity of his real father in Star Wars’ Empire Strikes Back.

Sure, it’s Darth Vader’s legendary, “Luke, I’m your father!” line that everyone remembers. But the most chilling aspect of that scene is Luke’s dilemma: He can survive by taking the hand of his sworn enemy; or he can presumably die by plunging to the bottom of Cloud City.

Gossip Girl deserves some credit, despite the scene being too brief, for trying to parallel this classic Star Wars scene. The TV show's father-son tragedy adds a neat, little twist by placing the father, Bart, and not the son, in the hanging position. And even though their roles are reversed, the evil Bart Bass and Darth Vader are the ones who ask for their sons' helping hand.

Interestingly, it’s the sons who in both stories still face similar dilemmas. Luke Skywalker and Chuck Bass are forced to choose between their fathers and their futures.

For the Jedi, the thought of teaming up with Darth Vader was enough to make Luke jump so he could live to fight the Dark Side another day. Chuck chooses not to extend his hand to Bart so he can win World War Bass and fulfill his destiny with Blair Waldorf. For Chuck, this cathartic experience completes his transformation to Gossip Girl's hero.

No matter what next week's series finale brings, may the force be with Chuck.

Photo credits: CW Networkand WENN

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Earlier in the fall, we shared the Gossip Girl cast's predictions for just who might be behind all those rumor-spreading, gossip-hounding text blasts. As the unveiling draws closer, we thought we'd share our best guesses with you.

The Humphreys...

Dan Humphrey seems like an obvious choice to us, especially in light of his recent quest to destroy nearly everyone he's met on his way to the top. Sure, Gossip Girl has spread her fair share of gossip about Lonely Boy, too. But nothing all that damaging. Just because he acted surprised when the text blast hit everyone's phones, doesn't mean he didn't see it a few minutes or hours earlier when he scheduled for the news to spread. He's done a lot of secret telling in his novel, but maybe that's just the end to something he started in high school as a way to separate the pack and weasel his way in.

Jenny Humphrey isn't out of the question, either. During her time on the show, Little J was far from innocent when it came to spreading rumors or conniving her way to taking over as Queen B J. Furthermore, Jenny Humphrey is the ultimate attention seeker. Just because rumors were spread about her and landed her in trouble on multiple occassions, doesn't mean she didn't enjoy every second of it. Finally, if you're in doubt due to her recent absence, think about this: You didn't have to be in New York to know about Anne Hathaway's wardrobe malfunction that exposed her Lower Central Side.

The insiders...

Dorota never even crossed our minds until one of the cast members joked about it back in the fall. It actually makes complete sense, though. Who would know more about the dirt in Miss Blair's life than Dorota? She's also regularly put in charge of Blair's phone, so she has access to all of B's texts and pictures. Finally, she's always nearby when things heat up in B's bedroom or Serena dishes at the vanity. Plus, she's even referred to Dan as "Lonely Boy". Maybe it's silly, but that seems like a good sign if ever there was one. Sure she seems loving... but she's put up with a lot from the Waldorfs. She was bound to go crazy eventually! Who wouldn't?

Nate is our final choice. Don't scoff! What better way to get rid of a clingy high school girlfriend than sleeping with her BFF and then having someone else spill the deets so you can act like it's a surprise? Plus, nearly every one of Nate's UES friends has royally f'd him over on one occassion or another. Spreading their secrets around via Gossip Girl seems like the perfect payback to us! We think it's also fair to point out that he hasn't been around a whole lot. At least through the middle seasons, Nate had almost no storyline at all. Why keep him around unless you needed him for something... like the big reveal?

There you have it, GG-fiends! Of course, there are a few other guesses that aren't out of the question and deserve some consideration, too. But, these people are our favorite options.

Images courtesy of The CW

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It’s the same old story. Boy sees girl. Boy makes awkward conversation with girl at party. Boy falls for girl. Boy overhears conversation about girl. Boy invents gossip blog so he can get girl.

Yep, Gossip Girl was in fact a lonely boy after all.

Everything about Gossip Girl’s series finale, “New York, I Love You XOXO” worked.

Blair and Chuck’s getaway. Jack Bass, the romantic? Georgina Sparks, the good girl? Who knew.

Ivy Dickens gets her heart ripped out by Billy Baldwin. Nate and the Spectator live to publish another day.

Blair’s dress. Chuck’s sparkling bowtie. A Central Park wedding.

Dorota drinks enough vodka to kill a small horse. The Kristen Bell wink. The Vanessa and Juliet cameos. Little Harry. A fairy-tale wedding.

Lisa Loeb and Rufus.

Lisa Loeb? Say what?

Nothing was more fitting for a series finale than the revelation that Dan Humphrey   is the mighty pen behind Gossip Girl’s sword. Even though the long overdue admission did not deliver an earth-shattering experience , Dan being the Upper East Side’s most infamous blogger makes perfect sense.

Sure, I’ll admit I was a bit disappointed that my Nelly Yuki prediction turned out wrong. . But I quickly got over the sting, thanks to the flawless breakdown of how Dan schemed his way to the top — a confession he makes to Serena during the second best scene of the season .

Dan’s story is augmented by some vintage video we’ve never seen before. The gang’s all hanging at a Constance Billard-St. Jude party, dressed and coifed like it’s 2007 .

Humphrey shows up alone, and is so far off everyone’s radar that Nate mistakes him for a lacrosse player named Matt. Chuck, meanwhile, literally gives Dan a cold shoulder while Blair rants about someone throwing up in the bathroom.

Serena, of course, is the only one who warms up to the Brooklyn outsider. She spots Dan from afar, and they begin to awkwardly flirt about Hello Kitty. For Dan, the moment cements his love-at-first-sight feelings toward the Upper East Side’s most desirable bachelorette.

But the Gossip Girl genesis is apparently the result of another Serena encounter on a school field trip. Unfortunately we aren’t treated to another flashback to describe the seminal moment in Gossip Girl history. Instead, Dan tells Serena how he overheard two girls gossiping about Serena’s decision to wear a white dress.

The conversation teaches Dan the all-important lesson that the mere fact that people talk about you is what drives life on the Upper East Side. It’s pretty powerful stuff for a less-than-privileged, hipster-in-training from Brooklyn who’s just met the girl of his dreams.

And so the Gossip Girl idea is born as a way for Dan Humphrey to win over Serena van der Woodsen.

We’re going to just assume Dan took a seriously intense computer programming class in high school because he eventually launches the blog that essentially dictates everything and anything people on the Upper East Side talk about. The outsider who longs to break in is the one who's pulling all the strings. It’s the ultimate case of irony.

Dan Humphrey’s coup d’état as Gossip Girl comes as a shock to everyone on the show — especially Dorota who must have been so hung over from her triple vodkas that she missed the five-year flash forward.

In a season that wasted so much precious time with random subplots that led to — in almost every case  — absolutely nowhere, it was inevitable that Gossip Girl would end the series with a sequence of events set five years in the future.

We see Nate hopping off a private jet and dodging questions about his rumored mayoral campaign. Nate can’t talk because he’s on his way to Blair and Chuck’s swanky new home that’s impeccably decorated and fit for Upper East Side royalty. The Basses wasted little time creating an heir, as little Harry Bass runs around the house decked out in a three-piece suit and pocket square a la Daddy Bass.

Also attending are sibling blasts from the past Eric van der Woodsen and Jenny Humphrey. It was a nice touch to bring them back, and an even better decision to not make a big deal of their presence.

Rounding out the guests are the oddest of couples: Cyrus and Eleanor, William and Lily, Jack Bass and Georgina, and — last but not least — Rufus and Lisa Loeb .

The feature attraction everyone is waiting for is the wedding we’ve been waiting for.

Lonely Boy finally gets the girl.

Gossip Girl had no choice, but to end with Dan and Serena joined in marriage. Humphrey was the quintessential outsider trying to crack into a world he was destined to not belong. In many ways, Dan represented Gossip Girl, the show. By marrying Serena, he overcame the odds, just like Gossip Girl has defied conventional television.

Quick: Name another show on TV right now that’s been on the air for six consecutive seasons…

It’s harder than you think.

But not as difficult as a creating a show that’s sturdy enough to withstand the turbulent landscape of TV. Most shows today have a shorter shelf life than egg nog around the holidays.

Yet, Gossip Girl entered our lives on Sept. 19, 2007, and departs on Dec. 17, 2012. One hour a week, for six seasons, the show impacted each of us in its own little way.

My favorite memory about the show will forever be attached to a birthday trip to New York City. My wife arranged for us a Gossip Girl sightseeing tour where we drove around Manhattan all day — in the rain — to various iconic sites from the show.

Somewhere between the Met's steps and Henri Bendel, it finally hit me: I was the only male significant other on the coach bus who was actually enjoying the experience. As hard as that tour must have been for my wife, she rode along with a smile, knowing just how cool I thought it was to find out the Constance Billard-St. Jude campus is really a Russian church.

Following our tour through the rain, my wife and I watched every episode together, including Monday’s finale. Just like for Lonely Boy, Gossip Girl helped bring me closer to the woman I love.

And for that, Gossip Girl, I know I love you, too.

Xoxo.

Photo credits: CW Network

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